I posted this on my Facebook page last December, but I've been thinking a lot about the same topic, and decided I wanted to re-post it here
Friday, December 18th, 2009
I've been thinking a lot lately about the frivolity of life. Today I went into town with $52 dollars. I put gas in my car. $10. I got coffee. $3. I bought two books. $22. I got a bowl of soup at Panera. $5. These are rounded up of course because who uses change? (How much would I save if I saved my change?) When I got home, I counted my cash and asked myself, "Why do I only have $12 left in my purse?" It's all accounted for in numbers, but for some reason it doesn't make sense in my head.
I could have gone without the gas. I had half a tank. But the fact is that the gas will get used no matter what. And the prices will eventually go up, most likely. And it had gone down from yesterday. So I guess it's accounted for.
I didn't need coffee. I got it because I needed an excuse to walk into my old workplace and talk to the manager who blew me off for a month when I wanted holiday employment. For some reason I couldn't just go in and talk to her. "I was in the area... thought I'd get a cup of coffee." She did give me the old employee discount, though. So I guess it's accounted for.
I really didn't need the books. I'm right in the middle of reading Good Omens, and still have Stranger in a Strange Land and The Clocks yet to read. But it is my goal to read a total of five books while I'm home. And then I would have all five. So I would spend the money anyway. Besides, the gentleman who recommended Three Cups of Tea gave me free chocolate. So that's accounted for also.
I didn't really need the bowl of soup, either. But at 4:30, I was out of things to do. I know someone who works at Panera (or at least used to) so I figured I might bump into them. I didn't. But I was very hungry. and had to stay in town till at least 5 so I could pick up a prescription at Walgreen's. And I hadn't eaten anything all day, besides two cups of coffee for breakfast, a cookie, and another cup of coffee previously mentioned. And I might be hypoglycemic. So it could have been bad if I hadn't eaten. And it was broccoli cheese! So that is accounted for, too.
Funny what reason can do.
We spend our lives working for, scraping together, and spending money. We put ourselves in debt for education so that we can make more later. We do our best to live well on a low budget, and if we fail, society looks down us for either being cheap or in debt.
Funny what society can do.
At the end of our lives the size of our gravestone is decided by our wealth (or family's wealth). This seems twisted to me. Why are gravestones even necessary? A small ground stone should suffice. When I die, please make sure that my organs are harvested for transplants. Any part of my body that can help someone else should be taken. Tissues, blood, take it all! Not like I'll need it. Have whatever's left cremated. If I die from some strange and terrible disease, see if researchers want it. At least then if I'm being frivolous, It won't be my fault. If you really can't stand to have no remnant of me left to cling to, buy yourself a cuddly stuffed animal that plays "I'm Too Sexy" at inopportune moments. It should suffice.
Frugality is nearly impossible in the life I've created for myself. I mean, If I could get myself to eat rice and celery soup every day for the next year and a half, college would be easy! But I'm so unsatisfiable. I crave things like bagels, chocolate, shwarama and deli meat and I indulge. Toast, carrots, and chicken would be better for my health AND my wallet. Did you know that deli meat is packed with salt? I mean, I guess I knew that, but it didn't occur to me. Did it occur to you? Gr. Frivolity battles frugality at every turn and at the end of every day I find that somehow it has won. And when i get a little extra in my paycheck, I automatically think, "Oh, I can afford to buy this now instead of the cheaper option!"
I blame society because I'm an American and nothing is my fault.