Lately I’ve been observing, with increasing curiosity, the miraculous little being inside of me. I wake up in the morning to the indescribable sensation of her little body stretching, growing, and dancing... on my bladder. Every day she gets stronger, and in the mornings she’s difficult to ignore. The problem isn’t just that I’ll wake up to her kicking my insides. After I get up to relieve myself, she keeps kicking. I have a feeling that early mornings are about to be a regular thing for me. What I don’t understand, what is truly miraculous about this child, is how she knows that it’s 6:00 in the morning without having windows...
God is up there smirking right now, and if you’ve ever tried to wake me in the morning, you know why.
I’m beginning to see little tendencies here and there. I can tell the difference between a kick and a hiccup, a “hello” kick and an “I’m not happy” kick (it’s rather like the difference between a pat on the back and a dope slap, just in the lower abdomen and from the inside), and a dance and a squirm. Dances are the best, and usually happen when I’m playing music for her (I put an earbud in my belly button—genius). Squirms amuse me, are usually accompanied by annoyed kicks, and happen most often when I play Mozart. (Irony?)
Baby also has this curious tendency to be completely quiet and behaved whenever her (very dutiful and responsible) father is around. Maybe it’s just me, but it really seems like, no matter how hard she is kicking beforehand, the instant I say, “Mengyao, want to feel the baby?” she stops. Meng thinks this behavioral trait is going to continue post-partum.
Besides the little one’s constant growing, there is really not a whole lot going on. My main source of income is being a professional granddaughter (they pay me to take them places), I‘ve managed to keep my room tidy on a daily basis, the nursery is more like a room where things are getting shoved, and last Monday we shaved the dog. Not much excitement… except for the dog.
Well, I just saw the mailwoman leave a box on our doorstep (my new room’s location has it’s advantages), which means that my package is here! (There’s something exciting. I cashed in some banking points for an Old Navy gift card and bought some more maternity stuff. My next post will probably be about pants.) I’m going to go see what the magic mailwoman has brought me!
Showing posts with label morning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label morning. Show all posts
Friday, June 18, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Better now, but why does the world smell funny?
I realized today that most of you out there probably think I am still in a comatose state. Not the case. On the 9th (day after I last posted) I went antiquing with my dad. That was good, got me out of the house, and we got to spend some quality time together, which we don't usually get that much of. I also spent a day with my mom shopping, got to have dinner with various cousins, and went to a family pizza potluck on Saturday night. Time well spent, I believe. Lots of free food.
I didn't want to come back to school when spring break was over. REALLY didn't want to come back. But I did. I have to finish this semester, or I'll feel like I've lost something. On Sunday my parents and I packed up my freshly done laundry and toted it all the way back to Chicago. They were good enough to help me unpack, which was awesome because if Mom hadn't been there to motivate me, I doubt it would be done yet.
That night after they left, I felt the baby move for the first time. This marks a drastic change in thinking for me. They tell me it's kind of early for me to be feeling that sort of thing, (I'm somewhere around week 13) but nothing in the world could have felt like what I felt the other night. It was kind of like, when you have one balloon inside another, and the one on the inside bounces against the side. It also could be likened to how a coke can might feel being filled with carbonation... So now when I think of my uterus, I imagine a coke can. But anyway, I felt it. It moved. It made itself known to me. I'm starting to get excited for this. I'm starting to feel this less as an intrusion on my life. I mean, it's a little person! It's a healthy change of thought that I am glad has finally come. It's a lot easier to deal with pregnancy now that I'm a little happier about it.
A few other changes are happening. I have to use the bathroom a lot. This change has happened, literally, overnight. Sunday, I felt normal. Monday, I used the bathroom at least every two hours and it's been that way since. So that's been... inconvenient. (Yay for kegels!) Another drastic change is one that has surprised me to no end. Both yesterday and today, when my alarm went off at 8 a.m., I got up. This isn't usual for normal me, let alone pregnant and usually sick me! And it's not a, hit the snooze, hit the snooze again, drag myself out of bed, consider lying down again and stumble into the bathroom kind of wake up, either. It's a genuine, "There's the alarm, I'm up!" feeling.
The third change is my middle, which has been gradually looking more and more like a fanny pack when I wear pants that button. Wearing jeans for long periods of time has become really uncomfortable, in fact the only pair I've worn in the past three weeks are what I consider my "fat jeans." I've finally ordered new lounge pants. I am now sporting fleece, velour and jersey in fashion worthy colors. As far as an actual bump, it's barely there, but there just the same. I've not noticed a difference in weight, but yesterday I took a soaking bath and definitely noticed a difference in water displacement.
The last change I am hoping is temporary. At first I thought it was something I was wearing, maybe some article of clothing or something I got on my hands. But after fifth person didn't smell anything, I concluded it must be me. All around me I can smell goldfish food. No joke! I've heard of this before, women smelling things during pregnancy. My roommate used the term "olfactory hallucination." It's most disturbing... and of all the smells to smell! I mean I could understand the smell of salt, musk, or perhaps even capers, but goldfish food? So that's confusing. If anyone could shed some light on that, it would be appreciated.
In the meantime, college is definitely back in full swing. Now I need to do some writing that will actually get graded. Ta ta!
I didn't want to come back to school when spring break was over. REALLY didn't want to come back. But I did. I have to finish this semester, or I'll feel like I've lost something. On Sunday my parents and I packed up my freshly done laundry and toted it all the way back to Chicago. They were good enough to help me unpack, which was awesome because if Mom hadn't been there to motivate me, I doubt it would be done yet.
That night after they left, I felt the baby move for the first time. This marks a drastic change in thinking for me. They tell me it's kind of early for me to be feeling that sort of thing, (I'm somewhere around week 13) but nothing in the world could have felt like what I felt the other night. It was kind of like, when you have one balloon inside another, and the one on the inside bounces against the side. It also could be likened to how a coke can might feel being filled with carbonation... So now when I think of my uterus, I imagine a coke can. But anyway, I felt it. It moved. It made itself known to me. I'm starting to get excited for this. I'm starting to feel this less as an intrusion on my life. I mean, it's a little person! It's a healthy change of thought that I am glad has finally come. It's a lot easier to deal with pregnancy now that I'm a little happier about it.
A few other changes are happening. I have to use the bathroom a lot. This change has happened, literally, overnight. Sunday, I felt normal. Monday, I used the bathroom at least every two hours and it's been that way since. So that's been... inconvenient. (Yay for kegels!) Another drastic change is one that has surprised me to no end. Both yesterday and today, when my alarm went off at 8 a.m., I got up. This isn't usual for normal me, let alone pregnant and usually sick me! And it's not a, hit the snooze, hit the snooze again, drag myself out of bed, consider lying down again and stumble into the bathroom kind of wake up, either. It's a genuine, "There's the alarm, I'm up!" feeling.
The third change is my middle, which has been gradually looking more and more like a fanny pack when I wear pants that button. Wearing jeans for long periods of time has become really uncomfortable, in fact the only pair I've worn in the past three weeks are what I consider my "fat jeans." I've finally ordered new lounge pants. I am now sporting fleece, velour and jersey in fashion worthy colors. As far as an actual bump, it's barely there, but there just the same. I've not noticed a difference in weight, but yesterday I took a soaking bath and definitely noticed a difference in water displacement.
The last change I am hoping is temporary. At first I thought it was something I was wearing, maybe some article of clothing or something I got on my hands. But after fifth person didn't smell anything, I concluded it must be me. All around me I can smell goldfish food. No joke! I've heard of this before, women smelling things during pregnancy. My roommate used the term "olfactory hallucination." It's most disturbing... and of all the smells to smell! I mean I could understand the smell of salt, musk, or perhaps even capers, but goldfish food? So that's confusing. If anyone could shed some light on that, it would be appreciated.
In the meantime, college is definitely back in full swing. Now I need to do some writing that will actually get graded. Ta ta!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
The 1st post: Communication and Morning Sickness
Some conversations are just not meant to happen over the phone. Conversations such as these may include, but are not limited to, "I ran over your cat on my way to work this morning," "I don't think this relationship is going to work out," and "So... I'm pregnant." I guess I knew that when I started to call my mom last month. This wasn't planned, wasn't wished for, and (as far as my parents knew) not a possibility. You might say it came as a shock. You might also say she expected it. You know about mother's intuition...
As of now I am about two months pregnant. Other aspects of my life include college. I am a junior and a theatre student in Chicago. This pregnancy changes everything. I'm due in September, so I'm going to lose at least a semester's worth of time what with labor and all the other baby-having technicalities. I should also say that I'm terrified.
I have come to terms with all of this surprisingly fast. I suppose, between classes, homework, and directing a one-act in the upcoming theatre festival, I don't really have time to think about how screwed up my life is at the moment, but I really do think everything is going to be okay. My family is well acquainted with crises, which has included heart attacks, strokes, personality-changing traumatic brain injuries, and cancer. "A pregnancy, a baby, is not a crisis." That's what my mom said the day after I told her.
Despite my mental disposition, my body is not doing so well. For several weeks, any commitment before 10 a.m. was not a possibility. I haven't felt so sick for so many consecutive days since I got my wisdom teeth out, and even then they gave me drugs! The "morning" sickness has calmed down significantly. Unfortunately, I have begun feeling violently ill somewhere around 8:30 p.m., "night" sickness, if you will. I think being fully awake for the misery makes it decidedly worse.
My methods for dealing with morning sickness have been slowly and steadily evolving to an art. First of all, I constantly have a bottle of ice water with me. Something about the cool, unoffensive liquid seems to calm things down in the digestive area. (There was about a two week period where I almost lived off apple juice and saltine crackers.) I'm also working on keeping small amounts of food with me at all times. These come mostly in the form of crackers, chips and apple slices. I hate the fact that I can't eat like I used to. Being in college and in an apartment, it was so much easier to deal with when I was too tired, too busy, or too broke to eat. I'd just make some pasta or rice and will myself to operate on no protein. That doesn't work anymore. My body is completely dictating my consumption patterns. (At this moment I am at work eyeing up a package of Easy Mac...)
If I do not eat when I am hungry, I get sick. If I overeat, however, I get sick. Also, sometimes when I eat (like earlier today when I had an amazing slice of Chicago deep dish) I get sick just because. Greasy foods are completely out. Sugary foods are... well, old habits die hard. Slowly but surely, however, my semi-sweet chocolate morsels, spoonfuls of Nutella (if you don't know what it is, go buy it, sold next to the peanut butter), and pixie sticks are being replaced by fresh fruit, toast with cinnamon and sugar, and club house crackers. My only real problem has been soda... like I said, old habits. Whenever I drink soda, particularly dark sodas, I feel sick at the end of the day. I need to just not drink it... yeah.
Somewhere in this, the first post of this blog, I should tell you all what I hope to accomplish here. I think it's pretty clear that I'm not taking the short way out. I'm going to stick this out to the end. Whether that means keeping this child as my own, or giving it to someone else to raise, I don't know. But I have seven months ahead of me, and I know that somewhere out there, there are other girls going through the same thing. So I hope that maybe they stumble across College Baby Bump in their web-surfing and know that they're not alone. I don't know where life is taking me right now, and it's frightening, but I'm going to be okay. We're all going to be okay. Trust me.
As of now I am about two months pregnant. Other aspects of my life include college. I am a junior and a theatre student in Chicago. This pregnancy changes everything. I'm due in September, so I'm going to lose at least a semester's worth of time what with labor and all the other baby-having technicalities. I should also say that I'm terrified.
I have come to terms with all of this surprisingly fast. I suppose, between classes, homework, and directing a one-act in the upcoming theatre festival, I don't really have time to think about how screwed up my life is at the moment, but I really do think everything is going to be okay. My family is well acquainted with crises, which has included heart attacks, strokes, personality-changing traumatic brain injuries, and cancer. "A pregnancy, a baby, is not a crisis." That's what my mom said the day after I told her.
Despite my mental disposition, my body is not doing so well. For several weeks, any commitment before 10 a.m. was not a possibility. I haven't felt so sick for so many consecutive days since I got my wisdom teeth out, and even then they gave me drugs! The "morning" sickness has calmed down significantly. Unfortunately, I have begun feeling violently ill somewhere around 8:30 p.m., "night" sickness, if you will. I think being fully awake for the misery makes it decidedly worse.
My methods for dealing with morning sickness have been slowly and steadily evolving to an art. First of all, I constantly have a bottle of ice water with me. Something about the cool, unoffensive liquid seems to calm things down in the digestive area. (There was about a two week period where I almost lived off apple juice and saltine crackers.) I'm also working on keeping small amounts of food with me at all times. These come mostly in the form of crackers, chips and apple slices. I hate the fact that I can't eat like I used to. Being in college and in an apartment, it was so much easier to deal with when I was too tired, too busy, or too broke to eat. I'd just make some pasta or rice and will myself to operate on no protein. That doesn't work anymore. My body is completely dictating my consumption patterns. (At this moment I am at work eyeing up a package of Easy Mac...)
If I do not eat when I am hungry, I get sick. If I overeat, however, I get sick. Also, sometimes when I eat (like earlier today when I had an amazing slice of Chicago deep dish) I get sick just because. Greasy foods are completely out. Sugary foods are... well, old habits die hard. Slowly but surely, however, my semi-sweet chocolate morsels, spoonfuls of Nutella (if you don't know what it is, go buy it, sold next to the peanut butter), and pixie sticks are being replaced by fresh fruit, toast with cinnamon and sugar, and club house crackers. My only real problem has been soda... like I said, old habits. Whenever I drink soda, particularly dark sodas, I feel sick at the end of the day. I need to just not drink it... yeah.
Somewhere in this, the first post of this blog, I should tell you all what I hope to accomplish here. I think it's pretty clear that I'm not taking the short way out. I'm going to stick this out to the end. Whether that means keeping this child as my own, or giving it to someone else to raise, I don't know. But I have seven months ahead of me, and I know that somewhere out there, there are other girls going through the same thing. So I hope that maybe they stumble across College Baby Bump in their web-surfing and know that they're not alone. I don't know where life is taking me right now, and it's frightening, but I'm going to be okay. We're all going to be okay. Trust me.
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