Lord, save me from saying something sarcastic!

They ask, "Who is the father?"

I think, "You know, I'm not actually sure. It might have been the sailor I met at Navy Pier. Or maybe it was one of the guys I met at that party. Or the bartender, or the milkman, or the traveling salesman, but you know what? My fiancée is the only one I've slept with, so odds are it's him."

I need to give people the benefit of the doubt. But when they use that one tone of voice, it sounds like they just might picture me as a frolicking whore.

I think, "It's people like you that make me understand why thousands of women have abortions every year. It's people like you that make young girls so afraid of social scorn, they go to great lengths to make sure nobody finds out. And you know what? I have moments when I don't blame them. At least they don't have to deal with people like you asking who the father is!"

But I never say those things that I think. I wonder why?